Peer review of Essay 3 proposal for Zary

  • Each question does seem of appropriate “size”, there is a lot of information on ADHD that can be written into multiple paragraphs given the specific questions you’re asking
  • I would expect to see information on the effect that ADHD has on kids in school and social situations and what is used currently to help children with ADHD both in and outside the classroom. 
  • Some of the questions do seem to repeat themselves, Mostly the questions about what teachers could do to help kids with ADHD, I think if you combined those questions, you’d be able to come up with a couple paragraphs talking about this topic because from my experience the same methods won’t work for every kid with ADHD
  • Theres a good variety of angles on how ADHD affects kids in school and the personal setbacks it causes for kids. You could also expand your topic a little more and talk about how it affects kids as they grow older.
  • A couple suggestions for questions to ask would be:

How does ADHD affect kids as they get older?

What does untreated ADHD in kids look like?

Essay 2: Final

The article I’m about to write about talks about the evolution of agriculture and the effect it had on the world. It talks about the processes of agriculture from hundreds of years ago and how us humans have helped that evolve to help the growing population of the world. It also talks about how the world went from starving and nervous, not knowing if food production will keep up with the growing population, to a population of people who are becoming obese.

In the article, “Breakfast for Eight Billion” by Charles C. Mann, the author talks about the development of agriculture in our world over hundreds of years. He explains how the world went from starving to a staggering amount of people being obese. He also explains how much Farming 2.0 drastically changed the way farmers produced food. They found new ways that fertilization, irrigation, and genetics can help improve the production of food and create new strains of food that grow and taste better.

The author starts off this article with the fact that in today’s world the average person needs about 2,000 to 2,500 calories to survive. Up until the 1800’s, most people, including the wealthy, were unable to reach that caloric goal. Even dates past the 1800’s there are parts of the world that suffered through famine. With the world constantly growing and population increasing, there was a worldwide fear that people would starve to death if the population rate kept up like this. Thankfully, this did not end up being the case. Instead, farmers increased their harvests and continue to do so to keep the world turning. The cause of harvests increasing has the world dealing with a different problem. Today, people consume, on average, 3,000 calories a day which is increasing the obesity rate. Yet the article states that there are still 1 out of 10 people who do not get the food they need. 

The author goes on to talk about the cause of the boom in the production of harvesting. The cause was the Green Revolution. This process used two different ways to increase production; they used old ways like fertilization and irrigation combined with a new way called genetics. With the combination of these three, the agriculture world changed drastically. 

Fertilization has been proven to increase the quality of plants. The article talks about how scientific discoveries of how the nitrogen in fertilizer is what adds to the plants and helps them to grow. The scientists found that the plants couldn’t break down the nitrogen alone, it needs other elements such as hydrogen, carbon, and oxygen because these elements are able to be broken down by the plants. In the mid-nineteenth century, scientists realized that chemical fertilizers could substitute for manure. After World War 2 was over, countries across the world built fertilizer factories and now ammonia fertilizer has doubled the amount of food the world is able to grow. 

The author then moves on to talk about how irrigation has aided in the Green Revolution. Irrigation is when farmers divert water from rivers and lakes to water their crops, but there were geographic problems in some regions because the rivers and lakes were lower than farmland. However, throughout time they have created pumps to bring the water to the farmland. Over time, the pumps that were being used had improved but it was proving to need more energy than they had to pump the water to farmland. They tried to use wells to bring water up from the ground, but they could only reach down 30 to 60 feet, and the wells were expensive to build. In the mid 20th century, they created a pump that was fueled by fossil fuel and this discovery enabled farmers to reach farther down, going as deep as 300 feet. The author then talks about how when they couldn’t get water from underground, they moved on to create dams to store irrigation water. Which has proven to be very effective in increasing the worlds food supply. 

The author writes that the third addition to the Green Revolution, genetics, helped to create varieties of plants that would thrive better with the new processes of fertilization and irrigation. He states that the modern use of genetics started with a young scientist in Mexico, Norman Borlaug, who took female and male parts of separate wheat plants and bred them together to try and create a strain of wheat that could fight against a common problem of stem rust. He would take the female reproductive parts of wheat plants and dust it over the male wheat plants and breed them together, then he would take the products of this, plant them, and then expose them to stem rust. He continued this process until he could breed together strains of wheat that are resistant to stem rust. He was finally able to create rust-resistant wheat plants. Mexico went on to being a huge wheat exporter and this inspired other countries like Asia. 

In Asia, they started to use this process to increase their rice quality and production. Two foundations, the Rockefeller and Ford Foundations, created the IRRI, the International Rice Research Institute, to see if they could use the method of genetics to improve rice production. The articles states that, “rice is humankinds single most important food”, which I find to be true because there are so many dishes that are based around rice. In the 1960s and 1970s, the IRRI used Borlaug’s method for wheat to helps increase rice production. They wanted to create new and highly productive strains of rice. After doing so, by the 21st century, the calories consumed by the Asian population had increased by 30%. According to another article I found called, “The Complex History of the Domestication of Rice”, rice has been around going back to 8000 B.C. with different kinds of rice which are domesticated and wild rice. It talks about how the process to domesticate rice was a long road. “Positive mutations that occurred later in the domestication process may be absent from the wild gene pool or early landraces, but would be ubiquitous among more recently developed cultivars.” This quote from the article tells the reader about how during the process of domesticating rice created positive mutations that cant be found in wild rice anymore. 

In this article, the author goes on to say that although Farming 2.0 helped our world grow more food and escape the fear of starvation, it has impacted our environment immensely. Things like poor irrigation practice can poison the soil, and overuse of fertilizer can pollute rivers, lakes, and oceans with the runoff from farming fields. Both the problems seem to be feeding off each other. The author states that as the population grows the whole world should be included in solving this problem to continue to supply food for everyone.

I never really thought of the evolution of agriculture throughout the years, but it was interesting to read. The ways in which it has improved our world which went from starving to obesity throughout hundreds of years. This article has opened my eyes to the processes behind it. In today’s world and the easy access that we have to food, it’s easy to forget that for hundreds of years most people in the world were starving and wondering how they would survive with such little food. I mostly remember learning about obesity in school and how much of a problem its continuing to be despite the efforts of important figures pushing us to eat better. 

It’s not a surprise that the process of agriculture is ruining the earth. We are constantly taking from the earth so that we can eat but it begs the question of what is that going to do to our planet? Surely the earth will one day will not able to keep up with our growing population. This brings on a huge problem for agriculture that they need to solve in order to keep farming moving forward.

Mann, Charles, “How the System Works”, Breakfast for Eight Billion, winter 2025, https://research-ebsco-com.ezproxybrcc.helmlib.org/c/njhtfa/viewer/pdf/isscvfyyef?route=details

Department of Plant Breeding and Genetics, Cornell University, “The Complex History of the Domestication of Rice”, October 2007

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2759204/#:~:text=The%20panicle%20structure%20has%20changed,seeds%20than%20the%20wild%20ancestors.

Essay 2 rough draft review for Aasjah

Your essays does seem to follow assignment guidelines. 

The summary of the essay could use a lot more detail on the water systems and how technology is incorporated in that. You focus heavily on technology in your response to the article but I’m not seeing much about it throughout your rough draft. 

I would take your first paragraph and organize it a little more to summarize what the article was about.

It seems to be written in your own words, which is awesome, but maybe citing direct quotes could help you write more detailed paragraphs that help us other readers to understand the article better. 

The paragraphs could be more focused and spread out into more. There seems to be multiple topics in each paragraph which could be spread out into different paragraphs. 

The ending to your essay does have me asking more questions about the topic and its great that you found a source to connect to the article you had. 

Essay 3 Proposal

The image I chose is the classic nutrition triangle that you can see almost everywhere. It starts with a base of colorful fruits and vegetables, the moves up a smaller layer of protein, then a third smaller layer of grains and finally the smallest part of the pyramid at the top is herbs, spices, and healthy oils. 

The questions I have from looking at this triangle are:

  • is this an accurate representation of what food groups we need to be nutrient efficient?*
  • Is there anything else missing from the food pyramid that we might need?
  • What kind of nutrients do we get from each food group?*
  • How and why are people in America lacking in nutrients?*
  • What can people do to improve their diet?*
  • Is a good diet enough to sustain a healthy lifestyle?*
  • What else can be done to improve food in America?
  • Are other countries struggling with their people being nutrient deficient?
  • What can we learn about food and lifestyles from other countries?*
  • Why is America struggling with obesity?*

https://www.chp.gov.hk/en/static/100022.html

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/healthy-diet

https://www.northwell.edu/news/the-latest/inflation-and-american-diets

Harpers annotation

I chose the image of the American flag being used to make different types of clothing

The writers annotation is informational, providing us with the history of the importance of the American flag and how the German company Escada opened its first flagship Manhattan boutique with an American flag tribute.

The image the writer used is an example of American flag clothing. The writers words connect to the image by talking about the history behind Americans wearing the American flag on their clothes and why it started in the first place. People would mainly wear American flag clothes after multiple different wars to show their support for America.

I would characterize the details in the paragraphs as informational and historic. The writer who annotated this picture writes details about how American flag fashion started out and grew throughout the years. I’m not quite sure where the information is coming from but it seems like it focuses mainly on the history of the company Escada.

The first paragraph focuses on the German company Escada and how it was one of the first companies to start the boom in American flag fashion. The second paragraph talks about how the importance of the American flag came to be during the civil war. The third paragraph focuses on how there was a legal dispute on whether or not people should wear the American flag on clothing to represent. The fourth paragraph talks about how people who wear the flag could get fined under the state flag laws enacted in 1923, but then goes on to talk about how people started wearing this again but it was only accepted when certain patriots wore it. The fifth paragraph talks about how in 2001 Escada released its stars and stripes clothing line along with a few other companies and how it had been in planning long before 9/11 happened. The last paragraph focuses on the fact that flag fashion seemed to come back after war times and asks whether or not this is used to show enemies that we’re united or is it to show it within ourselves.

Essay 2: Rough draft

In the article, “Breakfast for Eight Billion” by Charles C. Mann, the author talks about the development of agriculture in our world over hundreds of years. He explains how the world went from starving to a staggering amount of people being obese. He also explains how much Farming 2.0 drastically changed the way farmers produced food. They found new ways that fertilization, irrigation, and genetics can help improve the production of food and create new strains of food that grow and taste better.

The author starts off this article with the fact that in today’s world the average person needs about 2,000 to 2,500 calories to survive. Up until the 1800’s, most people, including the wealthy, were unable to reach that caloric goal. Even dates past the 1800’s there are parts of the world that suffered through famine. With the world constantly growing and population increasing, there was a worldwide fear that people would starve to death if the population rate kept up like this. Thankfully, this did not end up being the case. Instead, farmers increased their harvests and continue to do so to keep the world turning. The cause of harvests increasing has the world dealing with a different problem. Today, people consume, on average, 3,000 calories a day which is increasing the obesity rate. Yet the article states that there are still 1 out of 10 people who do not get the food they need. 

The author goes on to talk about the cause of the boom in the production of harvesting. The cause was the Green Revolution. This process used two different ways to increase production; they used old ways like fertilization and irrigation combined with a new way called genetics. With the combination of these three, the agriculture world changed drastically. Fertilization has been proven to increase the quality of plants. The article talks about how scientific discoveries of how the nitrogen in fertilizer is what adds to the plants and helps them to grow. The scientists found that the plants couldn’t break down the nitrogen alone, it needs other elements such as hydrogen, carbon, and oxygen because these elements are able to be broken down by the plants. 

In the mid-nineteenth century, scientists realized that chemical fertilizers could substitute for manure. After World War 2 was over, countries across the world built fertilizer factories and now ammonia fertilizer has doubled the amount of food the world is able to grow. The author then moves on to talk about how irrigation has aided in the Green Revolution. Irrigation is when farmers divert water from rivers and lakes to water their crops, but there were geographic problems in some regions because the rivers and lakes were lower than farmland. However, throughout time they have created pumps to bring the water to the farmland. Over time, the pumps that were being used had improved but it was proving to need more energy than they had to pump the water to farmland. 

They tried to use wells to bring water up from the ground, but they could only reach down 30 to 60 feet, and the wells were expensive to build. In the mid 20th century, they created a pump that was fueled by fossil fuel and this discovery enabled farmers to reach farther down, going as deep as 300 feet. The author then talks about how when they couldn’t get water from underground, they moved on to create dams to store irrigation water. Which has proven to be very effective in increasing the worlds food supply. 

The author writes that the third addition to the Green Revolution, genetics, helped to create varieties of plants that would thrive better with the new processes of fertilization and irrigation. He states that the modern use of genetics started with a young scientist in Mexico who took genetics of wheat plants and bred them together to try and create a strain of wheat that could fight against a common problem of stem rust. He would take the male and female reproductive parts of wheat plants and breed them together, then he would take the products of this, plant them, and then expose them to stem rust. He continued this process until he could breed together strains of wheat that are resistant to stem rust. He was finally able to create rust-resistant wheat plants. Mexico went on to being a huge wheat exporter and this inspired other countries like Asia. In Asia, they started to use this process to increase their rice quality and production. 

In this article, the author goes on to say that although Farming 2.0 helped our world grow more food and escape the fear of starvation, it has impacted our environment immensely. Things like poor irrigation practice can poison the soil, and overuse of fertilizer can pollute rivers, lakes, and oceans with the runoff from farming fields. Both the problems seem to be feeding off each other. The author states that as the population grows the whole world should be included in solving this problem to continue to supply food for everyone.

I never really thought of the evolution of agriculture throughout the years, but it was interesting to read. The ways in which it has improved our world which went from starving to obesity throughout hundreds of years. This article has opened my eyes to the processes behind it. In today’s world and the easy access that we have to food, it’s easy to forget that for hundreds of years most people in the world were starving and wondering how they would survive with such little food. I mostly remember learning about obesity in school and how much of a problem its continuing to be despite the efforts of important figures pushing us to eat better. 

It’s not a surprise that the process of agriculture is ruining the earth. We are constantly taking from the earth so that we can eat but it begs the question of what is that going to do to our planet? Surely the earth will one day will not able to keep up with our growing population. This brings on a huge problem for agriculture that they need to solve in order to keep farming moving forward.

Mann, Charles, “How the System Works”, Breakfast for Eight Billion, winter 2025, https://research-ebsco-com.ezproxybrcc.helmlib.org/c/njhtfa/viewer/pdf/isscvfyyef?route=details

Essay 1: Reflection

After receiving the feedback on my essay, it opened my eyes to how many details I was missing out on. I started off by writing down the feedback of things I could change or add into my essay. I definitely started off by adding more detail about my grandmother because she was my main inspiration to write this. The topic I chose to write about may be simple but it’s something that’s meaningful to me. I agreed with most of what was given back to me on feedback, especially about providing more detail, but I disagreed at first that my message as to why I was writing about this topic wasn’t clear. After I saw that feedback and reread my essay, I did realize I would need to add more detail because it probably wasn’t totally clear for my readers. In the article, “the makers eye”, the thing that stood out most to me was, “If the subject is not clear, or if it is not yet limited or defined enough for me to proceed, I step back and try to catch the focus of what I may say in a line that may become a title or the first sentence of the piece.” What I feel this writer is saying is that if you try to write on a topic without having a clear topic or details to fill in on the topic, it is wise to step back and jot down some ideas to see if you can make it work. Jumping into any kind of writing with no plan will often create a bad draft. With our first essay, I didn’t sit down and plan out what to write, but after revising the essay and reading “the makers eye”, I realize its important to take a step back to process the topic you are writing about and see if there are details that can turn your story into a good read. I did not use AI to help me write this because I don’t feel like having a computer generated story about my life knowing that AI can’t convey the emotions I felt and the things I saw, heard, or tasted. I like the fact that everything I write is coming from the heart and I love adding in the little details that pull a story together.

Essay 1 Memoir: Final Draft

Have you ever sat in the kitchen with a family member and watched the way they baked or cooked, taking in the ways they measure, or eyeballed, their ingredients? That’s how I would spend my time at my grandparents’ house, watching and learning how to cook or bake the food they made that I loved so much. My favorite thing to do was bake with my Noni. She would always pull up a step stool and instruct me on how to measure ingredients. My favorite thing to make with her was brownies, I was a kid, of course I loved them and wanted to make them as often as I could. If anyone knows grandmothers, they’ll never say no to making something for you or teaching you how to do it on your own. The smell of brownies baking in the oven always made me smile.

My Noni was a beautiful woman she had brown eyes that were wrinkled in the corners from all the laughs she had in her life, gorgeous curly hair, and was always wearing a cross necklace around her neck, she always smelled good too, it made me feel safe and at home. Her kitchen was very homey, the walls were filled with pictures of the family and scripture from the bible, I loved it so much that I got the stars that were on her wall tattooed on me with something she always said to me, she would tell me, “Look for the brightest star in the sky and I’ll be on the other side looking back at you”. She lived in Arizona from the time I was 3 until she passed and with me living in Massachusetts, those words she would always say when I got the chance to see her meant the world to me.  She was always humming along to some Christian or country music that was always playing in the background, something I never appreciated till I got older. I’d take in the sound of her voice singing along quietly to the music while we did anything, especially if it was Luke Bryan, he was her favorite. Most importantly, she was always up for quality time with her grandkids especially if we were baking something. 

Like I had said, brownies were my favorite thing, and I loved making them with her. We would grab a box of brownie mix, eggs, water, oil, a spoon, big bowl, and a brownie pan so we could start baking. Noni would always preheat the oven before we started mixing anything. I remember grabbing the big metal bowl and setting up my ingredients on the counter.

First things first, opening the box I’d get a whiff of the same chocolate powdery mix that I loved, and I would pour it right into the metal bowl. I was taught to make a little pocket in the middle of the mix to put the wet ingredients in the middle, she claimed it mixed easier. Noni’s wrinkly hands would measure out the oil and water for me, knowing I might put too much if I did it myself. So, my next step was creating that little pocket in the middle of that powder and pouring in the water and oil. She would help me crack the eggs ensuring that there were no shells that would get mixed into the batter, because nobody likes crunchy brownies, unless it was a good crunch like walnuts or peanuts (which we would sometimes add). After all the ingredients were in the bowl, my task was to mix it up. Now, usually it would not just be me and Noni making this, my siblings would be running around the house playing and just waiting for the chocolatey goodness to be done baking and trying to steal spoonfuls of the batter. 

Next, I would mix up the ingredients to create the batter we all love so much. If we were adding extra stuff in there, like nuts or chocolate chips, this would have been the time to add it in to make the brownies what I used to call, “extra special”. After everything was all mixed together, my Noni would grab the brownie pan and put it next to the batter. She would go into the closet in the kitchen, that would always have anything we needed and grab that very familiar can of Crisco and a paper towel. Now that I think of it, I haven’t seen a can of Crisco since the last time I had baked with my Noni. I loved to grease up the pan with Crisco, it kind of felt like I was playing with slime so of course I loved it! I would take the paper towel and fold it in half and dip it into the Crisco, grabbing a glob in the paper towel. I would then take the Crisco filled paper towel and rub it all around the brownie pan, ensuring the brownies won’t stick.

After making sure the pan is all greased up, I would pour the batter into the pan, with help of course, and put the bowl that the batter was in off to the side. Now came the time to put the brownies in the already preheated oven. Noni would watch me doing this making sure I didn’t burn myself in the process of putting the brownies in, because I was her accident-prone granddaughter and knew if she didn’t, I would probably get hurt. Then, she would set a timer on the oven for about 45 minutes. While we were all waiting for the brownies to bake, my siblings and I would fight over licking the brownie batter out of the bowl and the spoon used to mix it. I believe that was all of our favorite parts, getting a taste of the brownies that were baking in the oven. When the timer on the oven went off, my Noni would take a butter knife and poke the middle of the brownies to check if they’re done. If the butter knife was clean when it came out then we were ready to take the brownies out, if it had brownie batter on it we would put it in for another 10 minutes and just keep checking on it. After it was taken out we would struggle waiting for the brownies to cool down because we were so excited to eat them. My Noni would cut all of us a piece and set us up at the kitchen table and we would finally be able to taste that chocolatey goodness. This whole process seemed to become a common bonding experience with my Noni and I; we would make it every time I came to see her.

Now, I know most people know how to make brownies, but not everyone gets to have that meaningful bonding experience with their grandmother. I’ve always held my Noni’s cooking and baking to the highest standard. I mean, everything she ever made was like a little taste of heaven. She’s the reason I love to cook and bake for people, to create something tasty that can bring people together. As I grew older, I slowly stopped cooking and baking as much, going through my teenage years I told myself I didn’t have the time or motivation to do it, too worried about my social life to cook or bake with my family. Since she passed 2 years ago, I’ve rekindled my love for cooking and baking. I try to make every dish up to the high standards of my Noni’s dishes. Now, it’s something that I love to do, never making excuses as to why I can’t. I will forever think about my time in the kitchen with my Noni and how much joy and the many memories it brought me. It’s something I would give anything to experience again, talking, laughing and cooking/baking with her to create something we can enjoy together.